My parents were never this hopeful.
via geekpr0n.net
Good British humor.
(An irate customer comes flying through the door and slams a soaking wet, dead hamster on the counter. I recognize her as a woman I had sold a hamster to an hour ago.)
Me: “Oh my goodness what happened?!”
Customer: “I took this hamster home and he didn’t even live 10 minutes!”
Me: “Why is he all wet?”
Customer: “From being in the aquarium! He swam for awhile, but then he just dropped dead!
Me: “I’m sorry, are you telling me you put him in an aquarium full of water?”
Customer: “You told me hamsters can live in aquariums! You said I didn’t need to buy a cage specifically for hamsters!”
Me: “Hamsters can live in an aquarium, but not in water! When you were picking him out didn’t you notice the others are in empty aquariums with bedding?”
Customer: “You told me he could live in an aquarium! I demand a new hamster! One that is alive!”
Me: “I really don’t think any of our animals are going to work out for you.
The CIA has launched a taskforce to assess the impact of 250,000 leaked US diplomatic cables. Its name? WikiLeaks Task Force, or WTF for short.
The group will scour the released documents to survey damage caused by the disclosures. One of the most embarrassing revelations was that the US state department had drawn up a list of information it would like on key UN figures – it later emerged the CIA had asked for the information.
"Officially, the panel is called the WikiLeaks Task Force. But at CIA headquarters, it's mainly known by its all-too-apt acronym: WTF," the Washington Post reported.
I need to add this to my Military Acronyms page.
The World Association of Chefs has named Master Sergeant Mark Morgan of the U.S. Army Rangers as one of the three best pastry chefs in the world, as reported in the local newspaper of Fort Monroe, Virginia, where Morgan is based. He earned the distinction at the recent Culinary World Cup in Luxembourg, where he represented the U.S. culinary team and won two gold medals.
Morgan has also been honored in his day job as an Army Ranger. At some point during his six tours of duty--two in Iraq and four in Afghanistan--he was awarded the bronze star. He is currently the aide to General Martin Dempsey, who runs the Army Training and Doctrine Command, also known as TRADOC, at Fort Monroe. The local paper describes his prize-winning desserts:
His peanut butter ganache earned him third place among 55 pastry chefs. Morgan also prepared four desserts, which together, were called “Pumpkin and Spice”. They included a spiced pumpkin custard; walnut cake inside a coconut blossom; red currant compote; and a cinnamon beignet on poached pumpkin petals, a trio of cranberry, and honey, yogurt and pumpkin sorbet with a pumpkin-thyme essence.
If that's not impressive enough for you, Morgan was actually an alternate for the U.S. culinary team. He didn't know he would be competing until the regular pastry chef dropped out two months before the Luxembourg World Cup. The U.S. Army is not know for its loose "take a few weeks off to go follow your dreams" policies, but Morgan somehow found time to practice. "I'm not as good as I used to be – it’s been 10 years," he said. Those would be the 10 years when he was fighting in two wars.
RANGERS LEAD THE WAY!!!
It's not the FCC chairman's job to seek consensus among the corporations that he was put into office to regulate. His duty is to protect Internet users.
The above sentence says it all. Looks like companies such as AT&T, Verizon, and the like will be able to throttle and or block broadband access to sites and services that don't benefit them.
Obama promised and his administration did not follow through.
A man was riding his Harley along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said,
"Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish." The biker pulled over and said, "Thank you, Lord. Please build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want."The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous undertaking; the supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific, and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind."
The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said,
"Lord, I wish that I, and all men, could understand our wives; I want to know how
she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she really means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy."
The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four lanes on that bridge
